The sun was boomin bruv. Da pitch looked like a sea ov ganga. Dere waz sum mean lookin sparrowz flexed & ready 4 action.
Readin sloped onto our turf and started dissin my brethren left and right. It waz off da hook blood, so we locked & loaded ‘n’ got red-e 2 fire.
Sam ‘goldie glocks’ Dunwoody started off the snipein wiv a tight finish. Rob ‘homez’ Homes was layin dem down righteously from the left. Jarred ‘two pukes’ Bengrazia was goin animal kingdom all ova da place.
If dere keepa waznt coated in kevlar then it wud hav been a massacre, swear down.
Da sparrowz nest at the back was on lock-down! Ant ‘rockport’ Kirkwood waz throwin sum ninja chex and banged a goal wiv hiz 9mm. Da attak waz stayin klear ov Ed ‘thommy gun’ Thom who waz growlin. Tom ‘heaton mercy’ Bailey held nuffin bak by goin round da bak to steal a goal. Jonny ‘moonshine’ Clarke was bustin moves in midfield and @ da bak ‘n’ cleavin sum meat, get me doh?
Rick ‘thug life’ Bone waz takin capz all day and was as solid az a 9-bar.
Midfield was blazin. Dat turf was gettin shredded up. Da 5-o waz no were 2 b found az da sparrowz ran riot. Liam ‘Yorkshire ripper’ McGreavy, Will ‘west coast’ Walker, Rob ‘cornrows’ Arnott, Max ‘inferno’ Sandy, Kohl ‘fake tan’ Myer and Joe ‘shank’ Darkins disrespected da opposition all day. Itz wat happenz wen da boyz drop da bomb up in ya grill.
Da final score over 14 – 3 reflekted da skillz blood. Dis seazon Earlsfield is more like a minefield ‘n’ teamz iz gonna run scared.
Next week we iz headin down 2 Purley. Day betta not try & disrezpect da sparrowz or da boyz will step up da heat. Innit.
Rick ‘Thug life’ Bone, Ant ‘Rockport’ Kirkwood, Tom ‘Heaton mercy’ Bailey, Johnny ‘Moonshine’ Clarke, Ed ‘Thommy gun’ Thom, Kohl ‘Fake tan’ Meyer, Liam ‘Yorkshire ripper’ McGreavy, Will ‘West coast’ Walker, Max ‘Inferno’ Sandy, Rob ‘Cornrows’ Arnott, Joe ‘Shank’ Darkins, Rob ‘Homez’ Holmes, Jarryd ‘Two pukes’ Pangrazio and Sam ‘Goldie glocks’ Dunwoodie