The Spencer steam train just-a keeps on rollin. Choo choo!!
The sparrows are currently sitting pretty at the top of the premiership with a healthy goal difference and an unbeaten record. If Spencer 1st were on tinder, I’d be swiping right all day long with their super attractive play, voluptuous goal difference and a propensity to score all day long. Oh beeeehave!
This week Purley wanted a piece of the Spencer action. Hovering near the bottom of the premiership Spencer were stand out favorite’s but the sparrows aren’t going to let their guard down on or off the field. When you’re top of the premiership by only a single win every game is a cup final. And when you’ve already graduated, every night in the Loughborough union feels like the last. Isn’t that right Roachy.
Onto the game and there was a lack of intensity at the start of the day mainly due to the lack of jungle music and fragranced jerk chicken. Spencer strolled onto the pitch which was icy in the shade and subtropical in the sunshine. Eddie ‘I’m so raw right now’ Vita has never seen real-frost before so it was a real treat for the sunshine state kid.
The start of the game saw almost the entire team warming up apart from Rick ‘Rob Clark better not score’ Bone rocking up just before face-off. Still does the business week-in-week-out though.
The game started with a not so typical face-off. If you’ve ever had to face off against a crab with freakish speed like a jackhammer you’ll know what I mean. Couple that with a deep routed anger that can only come from staring eye-to-eye with a catheter patient while your holding him upright and you get the picture. Its gonna get real. Real quick.
So Sacha ‘quickdraw’ Stout smashed the face and dominated for the rest of the game. This allowed Spencer some healthy possession from the get-go.
The train keeps on-a rollin……
Within around five seconds Spencer took the lead with Rob ‘I’m so prenatal right now’ Holmes ever so calmly tucking the ball with his low-to-high© past the Purley keeper. Quickly after this Eddie ‘It was dryer than the Californian drought’ Vita also kicked off his scoring with a sweet finish. With Joe ‘too much time and room’ Darkins also getting on the score sheet it set the precedent for the rest of the game. The goals were coming thick and fast so blink and you might miss it. Or go skiing for the weekend and miss the whole thing Mr Barrie. Oh beeeeehave!
The midfield were getting knee deep in the action. Building from their impressive work rate in the attack, midfield and defence the goals started flowing. Rob ‘I’m a delicate little brabyns flower’ McAlhone was smashing it up in the middle of the park and scored an acute angle goal. Cam ‘lowlight reel’ Leslie stepped up to grab two (I hope someone got them on camera). Sasha ‘crab-of-the-match’ Stout carried on the impressive face-off dominance and caught a feed to finish sweetly. Ed ‘cross cultural tinder plump dumpling’ Shee also struck a trademark goal by breaking the sound barrier. Tim ‘Fabric or pint? The doors shut at twelve so I’ve not got time for a pint’ Holdsworth had an impressive game with some sweet assists and playing the midfield general. All in all the game was being dominated all over the field.
By the midway point the game was out of reach of the Purley team. Spencer were comfortably in control and were still scoring relatively freely.
Please alight here for Purley. Next stop the super sparrows.
The defensive end was a solid unit. Tom ‘playmaker’ Bailey was surging into the attacking half and played a solid all around game. Jonny ‘he’s nimble for a lad with gout’ Clark had a good game and this author will leave it open for interpretation for the fault that caused the goal. I didn’t see and it is far from clear. Although leaving for Dan ‘birthday boy’ Macken’s birthday denied him the opportunity to meet many hockey girls after the game. Tom ‘let’s have a detox Christmas party’ Leahy grabbed his obligatory goal to take him to double figures this season. Rick ‘oh shit he did score’ Bone was mopping up pretty much everything Purley could throw at him apart from a single aforementioned defensive lapse.
Overall the defence has only conceded 22 goals this season which is a massive achievement. This solidarity at the back also helps the attack feel more confident and helps the goals flow at the other end. Gok Wan would be proud.
Spencer did have the opportunity to score more goals but no one wanted the 21st goal. So it finished 20 – 1. As the final whistle blew the Spencer boys retained the top spot in the premiership and are looking more formidable each week. It is important not to get too carried away but keeping this team together should make a very strong play for silverware.
After the game the team headed to the crowded spencer bar with tons of hockey players enjoying their Christmas party. Sasha ‘Vita get some lotion on that’ Stout won Man of the Match with Eddie ‘it might be bleeding a little’ Vita taking (raw) DOD and obligatory LDO of the day. The pints started flowing and Rob ‘I only score casually’ Holmes was surely not the only person to be incapacitated the following day. Good work.
Overall it was a great game and the next stop for the Spencer express train is Welwyn to guarantee the first spot for the Christmas break.
Scorers: Joe Darkins 7, Rob Holmes 3, Eddie Vita 3, Cam Leslie 2, Leahy 1, Rob (Bunny) 1, Ed Shee 1, Sacha 1, Mystery Goal 1.
Q scores: 5-0, 10-0, 15-1, 20-1.
Author – Joe Darkins